I had no intention of doing another blog post today, but I feel so compelled to share this story with you. It's difficult to even know where to begin!
Monday was a beautiful blue sky sunshine day for the Labor Day Holiday. I decided to ride to Windy Point to enjoy the sunshine. I got about one hundred feet down the drive and realized my back tire was low. Real low. Very low. Too low.
I asked my sweet neighbors to borrow an air compressor and they came through for me with two air compressors. Neither of which would work to fill my tire. But I didn't let it take the air out of me! I explained that it was the uinverse's way of telling me, "girl stay home, a bike ride isn't in your best interest today." And I listened.
Later that evening my sweet friend and co-blogger came over and enjoyed some delicious pear pistachio pesto pizza that I made us and we sat around my fire pit and and discussed our hopes and dreams and intentions for the new moon in Virgo. One of my intentions was to find inspiration all around me for content for this blog and for our upcoming podcast. This isn't along the lines of what I had in mind, but I'm going to take it, with gratitude.
I got my oil changed last week at Ron's Service in St Henry. They take real good care of me and Jackie puts up with my Snapchat requests for service and other questions. I stopped in to settle my bill and mentioned that my car was making a strange sort of noise from the back end that had me a bit perplexed and concerned. She yelled at Bill and said, "take a ride with Amy." We went around the block and he diagnosed it instantly. Jackie ordered the goods and we set it for 8am tomorrow. That's why I go there.
I get in my car and about a hundred feet later there is a new noise that has me more than a bit perplexed and concerned. I stopped in the middle of Railroad Avenue and got out to see if I was indeed dragging pie pans and tin cans behind me as the ruckus had indicated. Nope. So I went around the block sounding like I had a Just Married sign on the back and stopped at Ron's and went inside in a panic. Bill pulled my vehicle up six feet and I could tell by the look on his face things were taking a turn for the worse. What he thought originally could wait until tomorrow, some sort of rear wheel bearing issue, was now making my MKX undrivable.
Thank God I was only a hundred feet away when this happened. I could very easily have been barreling down 118. I told Bill and Jackie that everything is always working out for me. I was in the right place to have a wheel bearing problem, right! Except I was stranded. I could have walked to my daughter's house but Bill handed me the keys to his pick up truck and told me he could get a ride home and he'd have my car ready tomorrow.
On the way home it occured to me how dang lucky I am! I could throw my bike in the back of Bill's pick up and take it to Zuma Thru and pump up my back tire. Everything is always working out for me. Just as I was about to do that, Bill called me.
That's when the wheels sort of fell off. It wasn't the rear wheel bearing after all, it was the rear differential. This jargon made no differential to me, but I could tell by his tone that it was not a problem for the better. It was a more expensive and more extensive problem. Welp, guess you have to fix it then, Bill. At least it was there, and I wasn't stranded on 118 having to call a flatbed truck to haul it back and show some leg to pimp a ride. Everything's always working out for me.
But I had to get Bill's pick up back to him. And I had to have wheels. This felt heavy you guys, real heavy. I thought of people that I knew with an extra vehicle just sitting around waiting for me to borrow it. I admittedly didn't want to have to rent something, especially since the problem was going to end up costing me more that I thought. So I did what any girl with a problem would do, I called my dad. He said, "call your mom." We planned to meet at Fishmo's an hour later where I would take over my mom's Toyota Camry which was just sitting around waiting for me to drive it like I stole it.
I set Fishmo's as the meeting place because it is next door to Ron's Service and I needed to get some stuff out of my car, and as an added bonus I was going to get three of the most delicious Fishmo's Wednesday lunch specials and have a picnic in the park with my parents. A picnic in the park was a perfect response to this day, except that Fishmo's was out of the lunch specials. I looked at the kid who broke the news to me and I said out loud, "well son of a bitch" and walked out.
I sat on the curb outside Fishmo's with a Big Lot bag from my car filled with a few things I thought I might need before I got it back. I most certainly looked like a homeless person and I am glad that no one drove by and saw me. There is a snapchat to prove that I indeed sat there looking homeless. And five minutes later my parents pull up.
I insisted that they let me take them to lunch for their trouble. I said I know the perfect place and it's on your way home. Delicious food, super clean and really friendly staff that knows me by name. So off we went to Gilbert Station. The staff was indeed friendly, service was great, food was scrumptious and the company and conversation was really nice. It all beat any picnic in the park I've ever had. The bugs are bad outside right now anyway and it was probably too breezy.
I asked the waitress to bring me the check before my dad could and a few minutes later she returned and shared that Chris, the owner had covered our check. I politely declined and explained that it wasn't necessary. The sweet server told me it must be my lucky day. Everything is always working out for me. It was a picnic in the park after all. We left a nice tip for the sweet ladies who took great care of us and off we went. We said our good byes and I jumped in my mom's car which made me feel like I was sitting on the road compared to my SUV but I was sure grateful to be sitting down there!
Then I realized my phone was dead. And my charger wasn't working. Pluto, you sneaky little...
I finally got home. I plugged in my phone and sat down and offered a prayer of gratitude for the kindness and generosity of others. And then my phone dinged. I was supposed to be doing a yoga massage at my studio right at that very moment. I forgot. That's when two little tears welled up and wheeled their way down my cheeks. I could feel my own wheels spinning. I called this loyal, lovely client and explained the situation and apologized about four thousand times and shared a little bit of all this with her. She was so gracious. Free massage for this lady, indeed. I'm thinking it's more of a pay it forward than an apology massage.
I still had to teach a yoga class at six o'clock. I needed to breathe. I needed trees. I needed grass at the least, not that kind, but the little tiny square of grass in my back yard where I could walk in my bare feet and get grounded and centered and refill my cup. My eyes were blurry and my hands were shaky and as I started down my steps in my bare feet I slipped and twisted my ankle. Are you freaking kidding me? I said out loud to myself, "the stars are stacked against you girl, get back in bed." And I stumbled in and poured some arnica pellets under my tongue, hopped to the freezer and grabbed an ice pack and my castor oil pack. And then I sat down on my bed and offered gratitude. Thanks for not letting my foot, my own wheel, break. Two more tears rolled down my cheeks.
I sent out messages to my Wednesday evening yogis and everyone of them offered me love and good vibes without even knowing what was wrong. Two more tears. But I ain't gonna cry.
Before the gracious yoga teacher ankle roll, I had sent a message to Chris Siefring, the owner of Gilbert Station who had treated me and my folks to a delicious lunch. Offering gratitude for such a kind gesture was sure to balance the pure and agonizing turmoil I was experiencing from the day. The turmoil and tears weren't caused by the car, the weight wasn't the wheels, that is all figure-out-able, it was because I had to ask for help and I had let people down. It felt like the wheels had completely fallen off my little red wagon of hope and joy and sunshine.
And then I stared at my Macbook screen. Cue two more tears.
I remembered the meditations that I had led in my morning yoga classes. We practiced a full body breath and I encouraged them to sense their cells, every single cell, being surrounded and embraced and filled with joy that was being delivered upon their own breath. I explained that they didn't need to feel joy right then, but that we were planting joy. As I led them to an easy seat, I very lovingly offered them these thoughts, you are filled with joy, every cell in you is surrounded by joy, let it radiate from you to others and know that you are a magnet for joy. Look for it today, see it everywhere, don't miss it. I did a similar but abbreviated practice over donuts with my big kids, we filled ourselves with happiness. Hugo even shared a beautiful alligator breath that he had learned from his teacher at Bright Future Day Care. Thank you Miss Ashley, for teaching young un's to connect to their breath.
So I breathed. Joy. Happiness. Gratitude. I filled every cell in my body. I breathed in the word "thank" and exhaled "you". I don't have any explanations as to why or how a wretch like me could be so completely blessed. Even on a day like today, I remember how blessed I am. I have so many people I can reach out to for help. My parents are here, and able to drop everything at a moment's notice to deliver whatever I need. I have the means and access to have offsets and inconveniences fixed and rolling again when life (or Pluto) throws a wrench in the works. My daughter and son in love and five beautiful babies are right here with me, breathing happiness with me. My studio is filled every week with wonderful women who trust me to hold space for them while they refill themselves. I have friends who stop everything and pray for me, set intentions for me and offer me any help I may need. I have so many really good people in my life. I thought I was full again.
And then I read something that made me realize, I'm not full, I am overflowing. One more glimmer of joy and hope and happiness. I had received a response from Chris at Gilbert Station. He said "you inspire me daily with your talks...just be nice and make someone smile...I could see the hurt in your eyes...I did what I could do, I spread love through generosity. Keep being you. I hope your day gets better...and remember your positivity is contagious."
And then I cried. I mean I let the damn wheels fall off and I bawled. HE keeps sending me angels. I am so blessed. How can I be anything but positive? How can I not have a mindset like I do? Everything is always working out for me. The universe sold out the lunch special so that I could go to Gilbert Station and have this experience today. God served me a glimmer with my salad and side of fries.
Man, I've said a lot. I've shared a lot. Here's what I hope you take with you.
Your mindset and your words matter. You may be inspiring people without even realizing it. Support small, local businesses. Count on your parents and let them count on you. Count on your kids and let them count on you. Take donuts to your grandkids, or cookies or cake, it doesn't matter, just sit and eat with them and listen to them and breathe with them. Stuff will break down and let you down. People will help you and have you. Get grounded, be sure footed, ask for help, rest when you need to, when you feel that you've let people down, let them decide if they want to offer you grace, and if they do, believe them and accept it. Inhale joy, exhale joy. Radiate joy and happiness and be a magnet and look for the good, look for the silver linings and the rainbows and the pot of gold and the glimmers. They're everywhere. Everything is always working out for us and we're all really in this together.
Now schedule a yoga class or a massage so I can pay for my damn rear differential and Jackie doesn't stamp me past due. Namaste.
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